Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
