hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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