Can i not drive my cunt home
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
