i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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