i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize