Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
its not stalking. its research.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
