she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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