just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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