Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize