What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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