dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
