All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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