I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
