Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
