Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
