This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
