Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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