Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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