the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
