K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
