I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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