I wannas sexs uuuuu
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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