I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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