Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
