Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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