best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
