Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I CAN MOONWALK!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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