I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Pooping to opera.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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