Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
handjob tips. give me some.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
