just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
