U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize