he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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