so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
