STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
