I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize