Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
