This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
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afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
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You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You made out with two different species that night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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