YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She announced her abortion via fbk
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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