So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
