seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
