you guys were way drunker than both of me
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
