So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
