I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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