It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
