Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
