Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
