I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
