Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
