this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
