Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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