He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just want nice things and good sex
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
