I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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