If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
