I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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