worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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