I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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