you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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