Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm both gender and math confused
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
