Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
