Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
FUCK WHALES
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
