why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
