He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
