Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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