Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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