She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
