I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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