You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
