you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
