did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize